New Year's: Look Not behind Thee

I have three goals in mind for this year - improve my relationship with my husband; treat my body as the sacred temple it is and respect the stewardship I have been given over the money and resources I have. To take a line out of the video posted here, I'm striving to believe that, [in all of those three areas], " ... [my] future can be better than [my] past.

All the very best to you in 2011!

Arrgg...

Do you ever wonder why it is you do the things you do? Do you find yourself irritated and aren't sure what's up? Do you find your anger toward someone or something to be out of proportion [ as in way over the top] toward the person or incident? And, lastly, do you ever find yourself on your knees, either physically or mentally, asking for help to overcome these tendencies?

What you ask for, you get - I guarantee it!

I have been struggling with being more generous in opinion, less judgemental, more loving, kind, giving and forgiving - in short - more charitable. 'Charity is the pure love of Christ' and when you love that way you aren't quick to be irritable or angry and so I have been praying for more opportunities to practise these traits.

Now, I consider myself to be a nice person - loving and kind normally and I don't usually have trouble keeping myself under control but lately... wow...there's a Mrs. Hyde popping out!!!

That doesn't deter me, though, from asking, again, for opportunities to show I can do it.

It's funny - aka strange - that I no sooner get off my knees with all the best intentions in the world and within 5 or 10 minutes I totally blow it. Even as it's happening I can see myself and in my head I'm saying, "Diane, this is not charitable - you know better than this - now you stop it," and just as quick I ignore the admonition and keep acting badly. The process continues to my admitting I did badly, vowing not to fall into that trap again and putting another smile on my face....for about 10 minutes! Yikes... here we go again...

This is day four of this fiasco but I'm not quitting. This is obviously something the Lord knows I need to have down pat and so I will continue to submit to His teaching process. I've long believed that if you cultivate good habits, you will automatically fall back on them in situations where you don't have the time or opportunity to think clearly. I want to have charity so deeply a part of me that I am automatically charitable.

We all walk this earth with our burdens, trials and tribulations. We all need charity and so, we ought to give it to others. I love it when someone overlooks my less than kind attitude or cutting words and just loves me. It takes my bite away, I find myself feeling accepted -warts and all- and I gain the strength to tackle this desire again.

I figure if I want it, I better throw it out there freely so when the bread on the water comes back it's not full of worms and mold ;)

I hope you have a great day. Take care.

Thanksgiving

I am, typically, an optimistic person. I prefer to think the best of people and to expect the best things to happen. I know those who would rather think the opposite way but I can't see myself spending all my time expecting the worst and being constantly surprised when it doesn't happen. Don't get me wrong - I like surprises. I just would rather spend my time with my face turned toward the sun and being disappointed from time to time.

You might be saying," '...disappointed from time to time'? Where do you live, girl? Disappointment is around every corner."

To them I would say, ' you're right, it is.' But - it's all in how you view disappointment.

Life is meant to rub the edges off us and smooth out the corners. That doesn't happen without disappointments, trials and troubles. I look forward to what I will learn every day because I know there'll be something. Sometimes the things I learn about myself, others and the world are not pleasant things to find out but it is all there to help in my earthly experience so I've learned to embrace it.

I try to take that attitude into prayer, too. I thank the Lord for all the people there are, ever were or ever will be - both good and not so good. They all help me learn. From the good I learn how to reach higher, last longer and shine brighter. From the not so good I learn how to avoid trouble, the consequences of poor choices and how long it takes to recover from mistakes.

I am thankful for every day whether it holds birth or death, sickness or health, poverty or riches. What a magnificent world this is! Beauty is all around. Even on cloudy, wind swept, rain drenching days I know the sun is shining somewhere and I just have to close my eyes to see it. I know that God can bring beauty from ugliness, strength from insult and injury, and a full amazing life from a pile of ashes.

I'm thankful for you. It doesn't matter whether we disagree with each other, see eye to eye, or are somewhere in between - I love you. You enrich my life just because you exist and I hope I do the same for you.

Take care until next time.

Under Construction

I just discovered there is are new templates available. Please be patient as I try on all the colors and patterns. Hope it isn't too hard to navigate through the debris ;)

I Thought Sockets Had to Do With Electricity

Yeeee ouch!!!!

I could tell Dr. T didn't want to do it and he could tell I didn't either. It was just a plain old fact staring us both straight in the eye - I had a bad tooth and I had no money to fix it. It was nothing but fillings anyway - I reasoned, and I do have others around it. I know that when a tooth is gone the bone shrinks somewhat - I know it's best to save it if you can. But none of that logic was going to work for me so I had that tooth extracted.

I'd never had a dry socket before - I'd heard of them but that was it. I guess it was time for me to experience one first hand.

I guess my first hint should have been when Dr. T's assistant remarked on the lack of blood as the dentist lay his pliers and my tooth on the dental tray. she gave me instructions about when to change the gauze she gave me and the importance of leaving the hole alone for at least a day to let the blood clot form. I was to eat soft foods only and on the other side of my mouth only. No drinking through a straw.

No problem. I went home and relaxed. I knew it'd hurt some so I was prepared with Tylenol Extra Strength and Extra Strength Advil.

Thursday came and went, I took my painkillers and was careful when I ate.

Friday came and went the same way - except I sneezed twice before bed. I don't know if that's all it took or not to remove that clot - hindsight is real good for looking back on things, I guess. Anyway, all I know is I was in pretty good pain around 6AM the next morning.

I took painkillers that day and looked online for some answers. Everybody was talking about Clove Oil so I got hold of my daughter, Trish, who was in the city to see if she could get me some on her way home. I told her I'd settle for cloves and I'd figure out how to make a poultice with them. Sometime during the night she dropped them off - I found the cold bottle of whole cloves between the doors in the morning.

I kept taking painkillers through the night and on Sunday afternoon I broke one of my cardinal rules and I called Dr. T at his home. He ordered me some antibiotics and a different painkiller and Bernard drove to the Three Hills Hospital to get them for me. Dr. T instructed me to give his office a call in the morning. If the pain was gone - good, if not, he'd have to 'pack' it. Either way I was to call so he could give me a regular prescription as what he could get me from the hospital wouldn't last very long.

Monday morning found me in the dentist chair, mouth wide open and Dr. T staring in. He said the hole was completely dry and asked his assistant to prepare something that smelled strongly of cloves. Dr T put some of this 'packing' in and looked surprised while he commented on how he'd need more as that first one just 'disappeared!'

I left his office a few minutes later with instructions to keep the gauze in place for at least 1/2 hour and to try to keep the 'packing' in for a couple of days. If I needed it 'repacked', I just needed to call and they'd get me in. I asked him how I'd know if I needed to come in again and he grinned wryly, cocked his head to one side and said something about pain and that I'd know.

Well, here we are on Wednesday night - I can still taste the cloves so I guess there's still some in there. I am starting to get an ache but it's been on and off through this whole thing anyway.


I thanked Trish for the cloves {$8.00 for that tiny bottle - you can believe that?!} and gave them back so she could get her money back and I had my husband pick up some clove oil at the health food store when he was in the city...just in case...

The 40 day Love Dare

I just found out about this yesterday and it just dawned on me today to share it. Both Bernard and I are doing it. I invite you to do it, too. Even if you aren't married you can use these challenges in any relationship.


Hop onto this website and get started today - www.klove.com/blog